Do you want to hear something terrifying?

Apparently there are people out there who don’t love to read.

[SFX: ear-piercing scream]

Scary, I know.

If you don’t love reading as much as I do (insert ear-piercing scream again), allow me to present some possible alternatives for you to enjoy the literary loveliness of the darkest month of the year.

Coraline

Because if you don’t love books, you can see the movie, which is also fantastic.

My Favorite Thing is Monsters

If you don’t love books: Well, this is a book. There’s no way around it. But it’s a graphic novel, which means all those words are supplemented by truly spectacular art (done with ballpoint pen, I might add). The art alone is mind-blowing. If you don’t want to commit to a graphic novel (sigh!), you’ll have to wait for the movie, which has been optioned by Sony.

Frankenstein

I know what you’re thinking. You think Frankenstein is a boring, murky classic. I understand. But! You have another option. If you don’t love books, you should listen to the audio. It translates beautifully, and is one-hundred percent creepy if you have the right reader. There’s a very commendable version available for free from Librivox, read by Cori Samuel.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle

This is one of my favorite books. I featured it last Halloween. It’s short. It’s creepy. And I don’t understand why this isn’t a movie yet. Unfortunately, this is a book you’ll have to actually read. But, if you don’t love books you can always watch The Haunting (1963), which was adapted from a novel by the same author—the creep-tastic Shirley Jackson.

Carrie

I know, I know. You’ve heard of it. But have you read it? Don’t worry; it’s short. If you don’t love books enough to commit to this slim volume, watch the movie. The original movie. The one with Sissy Spacek. (I choose not to acknowledge the others). If you’ve already seen the movie, watch it again. Just because.

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