Well, some of you.
In honor of the end of the world as we know it, I will spare you from the shameless and predictable REM plug (oops – I did it anyway) and allow you a few moments to reflect on the contributions of humans throughout mankind.
[Insert Three-Second Pause]
Okay. Done reflecting?
Me, too. And I have to say, when I reflect on my time here on Earth, there is one person whose humankind-contribution truly shines bright. This guy:
You may be wondering—who is this old stoic-faced white man?
Ladies and gentlemen: This is a dairy farmer.
But not just *any* dairy farmer. This is H.B. Reese, creator of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
Let me tell you—if I had a secret underground bunker designed to withstand global doom and destruction so my family and I could prepare to rebuild civilization with the rest of the world’s survivors, I would take these books and stock up on some Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. They’re essential, really. Protein. Peanut butter. Chocolate. I mean, seriously. You don’t need anything else. Well, besides water, vegetables, nutrients and a desperate will to survive.